Single Mom’s Life

It’s Sunday night, after 9:00 PM and it is silent. Silent for the first time in a few weeks. AND I’M LOVING IT!

I haven’t had a night all to myself in a few weeks. First it was both girls here. Well, technically B was at Mom’s and M was here with me, grounded all weekend. Then a week where life was chaotic. M and S were here all week and I was launching a new site at work. I was stressed, exhausted, worried about getting everything done and trying my hardest not to freak out on anyone.

Site launched. No sleep. And I finally lost it. Over a trip to CostCo that S took. B was here for the weekend and I lost it on S. I felt awful for her coming home and having to deal with and see me freak out over him not buying water, but buying a bunch of other stuff that wasn’t on the list. Why couldn’t he just follow the list. I had said it to him. I had texted it to him. And hello, we can’t afford all this other crap. Oh, I lost it. And truth be told, he didn’t buy that much extra. It was just the straw that broke the camel’s back. Yep, adrenaline crash!

So then B and I spent the rest of the weekend together. Pilates, lunch, and some retail therapy. Yes, after freaking out about him buying stuff at CostCo that we couldn’t afford, I went shopping. Makes sense, right? Well, I needed it. M needed clothes and hell, I needed a few sweaters. Because it was FREEZING and going to snow. I held back though. I didn’t go shoe shopping even though M needs winter shows and I need some new brown boots. Hey, give a girl some credit.

B went home and it was another week of work, running around for M and stress. Typical, nothing unusual. Except that M went to her Dad’s on Wednesday night. So I had 5 days of no children. Well…no children over 11. I still had S.

Friday S was home. I hung in the bedroom catching up on my favorite shows on the DVR. S did whatever he was doing. Saturday was once again pilates, a nice hour of chatting and coffee afterwards with my dear friend and then home. And surprisingly (as it’s rare for me to drink anymore), I even had a glass of vinho verde wine while sitting in the backyard.

Then it was off for girls night. SW had just had a birthday and we were celebrating with beer margaritas (figured I already had a glass of wine, and I’m out with the girls, why not). And if you have not had these before, OMG…best invention EVER! Leave a comment if you want the recipe. Quick, easy and yummy beyond believe. Then dinner and then a chill night of hangning out watching SATC.

Now today, other than when S was up getting ready for work, I have been alone. Left to do whatever I want…and what I don’t want to do. Clean the house, grocery shopping and laundry. But it had to be done. I can’t stand going into a work week with a messy house. Drives me mad and actually puts me in a bad mood.

But oh, the sound of silence. Well, sound of no one talking except those on the TV. No sounds of the pitter patter of tiny little feet or big feet. No sounds of the god awful new noise M has figured out how to do and loves to drive me nuts with. No sounds of S making fantastic messes in the kitchen. No sounds of arguing or laughing or playing.

And I need this silence. It’s selfish, I know. But I need time to rejuvinate, recharge, reorganize, release. I just hope one afternoon is enough.

I’m sitting at home (M got out of school early today and S WASN’T suppose to be here, so I had to be here) and I’m suppose to be working. I work from home all the time…at night…but right now, with the sun out, M outside playing and S doing, well who knows what, I’m having a hard time not setting down the laptop and going outside.

So what’s a girl to do when faced with this dilemma? Blog of course! When you’re trying to avoid working, but still need to look like you’re working, since that’s what you’ve told M and S, typing always works. And what better way to type and not work, blog.

Only, I lost focus and started blogging at the right time. Because no one is in here to see me “fake working”. M is rollerblading and S, I think he ran to the store.

Tonight starts my 5 days of not being a mom. M and B are going to spend the UEA weekend with their dad. Which means I have 5 days of staying late at work, laying around catching up on TV shows (I hope) and doing things on my time and terms. The last one made me smile when I typed it. Rarely, even sans kids, are things on my time and terms. Whether it’s S, work or whatever, as much as I say I’m going to do things my way, I don’t. But, I’m going to give it a valiant effort.

I’m making a stand. Drawing a line in the sand. Pusing back. Fighting the “evil” forces. Oh who am I kidding, I’ll crumble like a week old cookie…

It’s October 12th and it snowed today. There was at least 2 inches this morning when I woke up. Then it warmed up just enough to melt, but not enough to actually be tolerable. Seriously, where have Spring and Fall gone? Seems like just as soon as it’s warm enough to sit in the backyard, it’s too warm and you can’t sit in the backyard. Then, just when it seems it’s cool enough to sit in the backyard, it’s too cool and you can’t sit in the backyard.

I’m not ready for Winter. Well, truth be told, I’m never ready for Winter. I hate being cold. I would take being hot over cold any day of the week and twice on Sunday. I hate being cold. I hate driving in the snow. I hate being around other drivers in the snow. I hate snow. It’s pretty to look at, when you don’t have to go to work or school or to the store. When you can sit by the fire or even just the tv and curl up in a blank, it’s nice.

Maybe it’s time to consider a move to Hawaii.

Anyone who knows me and has talked politics with me, knows that I am not a fan whatsoever of the presidential candidates we must choose from. Obama, simply lacks experience in my opinion (and many others, for that matter). He said one thing during the big race against Hillary, and now is saying some different things. Or…doesn’t say anything at all. McCain, nothing to say but give me a break. Yes he’s from my home state, but seriously…do we really need 4 more years of “Bush”? Dear lord, I hope not. And I hope that the Electoral College (notice I didn’t say the people? Since we all truly know, based on the last two elections, that the popular vote doesn’t matter) can see that.

That being said, McCain’s choice for VP has given me so many belly laughs that I so desperate need right now. Rephrase, Tina Fey as Sarah Palin has given me the best belly laughs. Her portrayals are so dead on and hilarious. Sad that they are hilarious and dead on, if you ask me. If you haven’t had a chance to check out her fantastic work, rush over to NBC.com and check out the Saturday Night Live clips. Regardless of whether you are a staunch Republican or a die hard Democrat, these will crack you up. Trust me, I’ve sent the clips to both, and heard laughter, snorts and giggles the whole way through. I highly recommend the spot with Hillary and Sarah and Katie Couric and Sarah. The debate skit from this weekend, while it had it’s moments, not their best work.

And no, I will in no way be making this a soapbox for my political views. Merely trying to spread the love and laughter.

So I’m not going to go into much detail or heart-wrenching stories at this point. Hey, I’m at work and can’t get all sobby and bawly. But, I wanted to make all of you aware of a fantastic organization that my company has partnered with. Design-her Gals is a great company that donates 5% of all sales to the Gal To Gal Foundation which grants wishes and contributes to resources for Stage IV Breast Cancer patients and their families.

Today kicks off their annual Virtual Walk. It’s super easy to join. Simply go the the Gal To Gal Virtual Walk and join. You get to select an avatar to represent you in the walk. It’s super cheap to join. A minimum $5 contribution to join. And honestly, even with the economy the way it is, who doesn’t have at least $5 that they can spare to help Breast Cancer patients. We all know someone who has had or been affected by breast cancer. Already today, they have raised over $26,000 (as of this post) and their goal is to raise $250K by the end of October.

When you join, please join my team. During registration, you’ll be asked for a team name if you want to join. Just enter Fab Women. Sorry for any male readers who end up joining. And yes…they have men participating. Larry King is walking. After you register, simply log in every day to continue the walk across America. It’s as simple as that!

Also, while you’re there, check out the great sponsors and their products. My company has developed some fabulously fun bags, binders and accessories to help support this amazing foundation. On the Design-her Gals website, you can build your own avatars, exactly how you want them and order stationary, business cards, etc that have your avatar on them. It’s totally free to build and a blast. I lost myself in there designing avatars for a whole afternoon once.

Let’s fight this one step at a time!