Single Mom’s Life

Yes, I know, Thanksgiving is over. The turkey has been stuffed, unstuffed and mutilated. The potatoes mashed. The pies devoured. And I should have posted this a few days ago. But life happens. And I couldn’t. Between working on days off, the girls, and saving Thanksgiving, blogging didn’t happen.

But it is now, and that’s what’s important.

I’m thankful for my girls. Yes, even when they are completely out of control and driving me mad. I love them and cannot stand the thought of my life without them. I love constantly worrying about them. Worrying that B is ok living with her dad. That she will handle puberty with ease (and yes, she mentions it every chance she  gets that she is going through puberty). I worry that M will make it home safe every day from school. That she will be safe sleeping so far away from me in the basement. So much so, I have little panic attacks every night before going to bed and pray that nothing will happen. I check things two and three times to make sure there is nothing that could go wrong.

I love that they love me. That they stand behind, or beside, me in life. Support me and want me to be happy. I love when after hours of fighting, they somehow manage to play nicely together for hours. Forgetting all about those fights over nothing.

I’m thankful for my family. How, no matter what is going on in each others lives, we are always there when the other needs us. How we can jump into action and take over to save the day. How, even when we’re pissed that we had to jump into action because others decided on pure laziness, we can forget, if even just for a moment, and laugh and joke. I love that we do these things, not because we have to, but because we know that’s what families do and we just do it.

I’m thankful for my job. Even if it means working on days when others aren’t. Spending hours on days off making sure that everything is ready to go. It allows me to support my family. To provide for my family. It gives me a sense of pride to look at the things I have done in my job and the things I’ve still to do or learn. It challenges me sometimes. I’m not going to lie. I get frustrated, mad, lost. But I always find my way back. Usually thanks to a few great friends I work with. Not to mention the great people I work with.

I’m thankful for my home. Even though every time we fix something it seems something else goes wrong. I’m thankful for the work S does on it constantly. Even though he thinks I don’t see the work he’s done and even though I think he doesn’t see the work I’ve done. We do the work. It gets done. And all is well.

I’m thankful for S. For showing me the errors of my ways. Even if the truth hurts. I’m thankful for his help he gives with the girls. His willingness to adjust his schedule to make sure that I don’t have to pay outrageous amounts in day care.

There are a lot of things I’m not thankful for (the ecomony putting a downer on all of ours Christmas, my car having to get fixed because of a stupid person, not having had a real vacation in years) but that’s not what this is about. This is about letting you all know, that if you are reading this, or are in my life, I am thankful for you. And for all you do. Whether it’s listening to me rant, rave and cry, or listening to me when I am goofy tired and making a fool out of myself, you’re there. You’re in my life and for that, I am thankful.

“Why are there two moons?”

“There are two moons. Why? Why? Why?”

“M, you have a massive sweet tooth.”

“No, I had it pulled two days ago.”

“My pockets are too small, but I have room in the front of my jeans.”

“Why am I seeing two of everything?”

“Why can’t I remember anything?”

All but two of those were said by Little Miss M herself. And no, these were not said after we let her have her first kegger….it was a bottle of wine…or Versed at the dentist, but who’s keeping track?

Kids, this is what happens when you eat too much candy!

Not really, but this is how M woke up looking this morning. It was one of the saddest faces I think I have ever seen. And to be honest, the face, and the sadness, did not change much all day.

Sunday night I picked M up and as we were driving she tells me she has a toothache. And she made sure to tell me that it started hurting Friday morning, BEFORE trick-or-treating. So take that, Mom! I didn’t think much of it. Told her we were due for our cleanings anyway so I would make an appointment.

Cut to bedtime when she is crying and crying saying it hurts. I drug the kid and put her to bed. Ok, so I gave her ibuprofen, an ice pack and put her to bed. Letting her know to come and get me if it gets worse. And it does. So she does. Another ibuprofen and salt water rinse and she’s off to bed. Again. This time she stays there.

Monday morning I take her to school, abesol and ibuprofen in hand and she says she is fine. 45 minutes later, the school is calling saying I need to come get her. In that 45 minutes I’ve been trying to get her into the dentist. They can’t get her in until Wednesday. Ummm…the kid is in massive pain. I get put on the wait list. 10 minutes later, success! They had a cancellation. Meanwhile, Mom is picking up M.

I pick up M and we head to the dentist. All the while coaching her that she HAS to let the dentist do what he needs to do. Even if that includes using the dreaded pincher (what she calls the needle). Ok, Mom. I will. I promise. I want it fixed.

One hour, laughing gas and countless tries, we leave the dentist office with no solution except a temporarily fill in the filling that came loose. This should get her through until she can be seen by a sedation dentist. I drop her back off with Mom and head back to work to start the search for a dentist that can knock my kid off her ass.

First question out of my mouth with the dentist, “Do you do sedation dentistry with children?” Resounding yes. Absolutely. Three phone calls gathering information later and she has an appointment for 6:00 PM on Tuesday.

3:35 PM on Tuesday. “Mrs. P, I spoke with the dentist and we don’t do sedation on children.” That was the first question out of my mouth! I almost screamed that into the phone. You tell me one thing, then wait until 2 1/2 hours before the appointment to call and tell me you can’t do it??

I start calling others in an almost panic. My kid is in pain and needs to be knocked out. Took two phone calls to find a dentist who sedates children and accepts my insurance. 9:00 AM on Wednesday.

Get home Tuesday night and find out M has been screaming (S’s words. Drama included) for 3 hours. Nothing is working. I, of course, hear nothing. M is laying on the bed watching TV. Ibuprofen kicked in as I walked in the door. Uh huh. Ok, so maybe it did. Who am I to say?

The night does not go well at all. M’s face starts swelling a little. She keeps waking up. I bring her into the bed with me. Whimpers and cries all night. 5:00 AM, actual crying. More ibuprofen. And disclaimer right now, I’m not one to want to keep pumping my kid full of pain relievers, but there’s only so much a child (and a mother) can take. Swelling is worse. I give her more ice and she falls back asleep.

7:00 AM rolls around and what you saw above is what I saw. And what she saw. And boy…that was the end of the world! Almost. Mom saved the day by saying she didn’t have to go to school looking like that.

9:00 AM we’re at the dentist. Hurray! About freaking (yes, I censored that for you) time. Diagnosis. She has a massive infection in the tooth that the other dentist put a temporary filling in. He didn’t catch it. We must do a round of antibiotics before he can knock her ass out and fix it. Because an infected tooth does not numb.

Meanwhile, I’m numb. 10 more days of this? No, the pain will subside when the antibiotics kick in. There is a God. And tylenol with codeine.

It was a warm Fall night. A slight breeze filled the air. The lights were on. The bowl was brimming. And two adults were waiting anxiously by the door. Except, no one came. 6:00 PM passed. 7:00 PM passed. Finally, at 7:45 PM, the bell made noise. Opening it excitedly, the sounds of Trick Or Treat came from one small voice. It was finally Halloween.

These sounds were only repeated 4 more times. A football player, Harry Potter, two witches, two teenagers and a toilet later (which by the way was one of the most creative costumes, complete with a candy filled bowl instead of a bag, that I had seen), and it was over. Nothing more. This was Halloween???

This was a Friday night Halloween. We expected masses of little children running from house to house. But nothing. Where have all the children gone? Where were all the costumes? I know the children had them. I saw hundreds at M’s school on Thursday during the costume parade. But none were out Friday night. It was sad. Somber. Quiet.

Have our fears as parents prevented us from allowing our children from enjoying a fantastically fun night of trick or treating, showing off costumes and collecting a dentist’s worse nightmare? Have we become that overprotective? That scared? That insane? I would hope not. But the proof was in the pudding. I even drove through the neighborhood after I went and got dinner. I shouldn’t have been able to. Years past, I wouldn’t have been able to. But this year, I saw 7 kids. And not even kids, teenagers. They were the only ones allowed out to partake.

Yes Halloween has become commercialized. But so has every other holiday out there. Are we going back to basics? Is the economy keeping people from buying candy? Costumes? No, not the costumes, I saw them. Whatever the reason, I hope it isn’t long term. Kids enjoy the night. Look forward to the night. Let them enjoy the night.

Until next year, I leave you with the Candy Corn Fair.