Single Mom’s Life

So I know I’ve been telling you how busy, busy, busy work and life has been. And how I long for a break. Well, thanks to a mandatory two weeks off from work, between our normal paid holidays and then company closure dates, I am getting said break. One would think that I would be jumping for joy. Two weeks off from work. But I’m not. See, the website does not shut down. Deals and banners don’t change themselves. I still have to work. Granted not all day, every day, but I’m still working.

And second, an entire two weeks off at home. I am, self-admittedly, a workaholic. And the thought of being home for two weeks straight, not going to the office, is almost enough to drive me mad. It might be different if I was going somewhere on vacation. Two weeks might sound great. But two weeks just at home…maddening!

Yes I realize that I complain about working too much. But, deep down, I love it. I love working. I love having somewhere to go. I love seeing my coworkers. I don’t love milling about the house for two weeks. Feeling the need to accomplish too many projects around the house. And feeling like a failure if I don’t accomplish at least one big thing a day. I can feel ok about not tackling some major project at home when I’ve worked all day. Why? Because I’ve worked all day. I accomplished things at home. But when I’m home, for this amount of time, I’m going to feel like a complete failure if my house is not thoroughly cleaned, organized and otherwise being domestic.

This two weeks, I’m going to try and do something I don’t do much. Relax.

I haven’t done so well on it so far. I’ve gone Christmas shopping (required, I know), grocery shopping (another requirement), made bon bons for neighbor gifts (a two day step proecess), wrapped all gifts, dug through two boxes of memories to try and find pictures depicting my life thus far for a “Getting To Know Me” project for work. And on a side note, I am absolutely AMAZED at how much my mother actually saved from my life. The brochures and newsclippings and photos and report cards and drawings and books. I think I’ve failed slightly in saving all this for my kids. Must get better. I’ve saved a lot, but nothing like this.

Anyway, I’m going to try and let go of that feeling of HAVING to do something every day. And sit back, watch some tv, talk to some people, go somewhere only IF I want to. Just relax.

So, today I am thankful for two weeks off to relax, hopefully rejuvinate and maybe get some things done around the house….If I want to!

Today is pretty superficial in what I am thankful for. But I am thankful that I am in a place where I can afford to buy those cute things I find for my girls for Christmas while they are on sale. Yes, I have been bargain shopping this Christmas. I am not afraid to say that almost everything they are getting was bought on sale/on clearance at great prices. And I am thankful that my children are not like I was and stuck on name brands and expensive things. They do not know what Lucky, Guess, True Religion, and 7 For All Man Kind Are. And I hope it’s a very long time before they do. Because for now, I’m willing to dig through racks of clothes for great deals. Great deals mean they get more things because I spend less. Yes, Mom, I have learned the errors of my ways. Hopefully, I can keep my children from every going down that path. And give them the gift of the love of sale and clearance items.

Today, I must say that I am most grateful for making it to work today. My usual 20 minute commute took 60 minutes, but I made it. Despite being surrounded by idiots who believe they can still speed down a very snowy road and cut you off, as they fishtail down the road.

There are a lot of things to be ungrateful or mad about these days. Economy, holidays (it’s give and take on those), work, life, stress, health. The list could go on and on. I’ve had enough going on lately to grown man cry. Lord knows it’s been enough to make this grown woman cry.

In an effort to not always be a downer and to try and focus on the positive in life, I’m going to steal my mom’s idea of posting one thing I am grateful for each day. I’m hoping this won’t be as hard as it can seem. After all, there is plenty to be grateful for. Gas is BEYOND lower. I mean, can you honestly tell me the last time you filled up your car for $1.39 a gallon? I can’t remember. And it’s so refreshing to have my gas light come on and still only pay $17.50 to fill up my car. Now does that mean I have increased my driving and wandering? Absolutely not. I’m cautiously optimistic about the low gas prices. I’m still trying to save the difference I’ve saved at the pump. I mean, it was only a few months ago that the same tank would have cost me $50.00 to fill.

But today, I am grateful for my loved ones. No matter what one of us in my family needs, there is always one of us there to help. It usually only takes a phone call or two. At that moment of need, no fights, no harsh words, no worries, my family is there for each other.

The only rock I know that stays steady, the only institution I know that works is the family.  ~ Lee Iacocca

And yes, my loved ones include my friends. Whether it’s margaritas and girl talk or crying and consoling, my true friends are there, ready to lend an ear, an opinion or a shoulder.

A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway. ~ Fr. Jerome Cummings

Yes, I know it’s been awhile. And I apologize. I’ve started to write a story several times, but I always get interrupted by work, kids, work, kids, work, kids. Yes, dear blog, I am a popular bitch! And while most of the time I love it because it means that someone thinks I’m smart enough to figure out their problem or they need me to do something that only I can do or because one of my kids needs me, it can get overwhelming and cause me to completely forget about the story I was going to share.

Yesterday I had every intention of blogging. It was storming outside, no one was going anywhere. But my weekend work ended up taking 4 hours. 4 HOURS! I swear coworkers have it out for me. S says he thinks I bring most of it on myself. And while maybe some of that is true, this weekend work through the holidays was mandated by my VP. And yes, I have an employee that could help. But she has a new baby and there are things that only I can do, so why ruin two people’s weekend? Ok, so with that thinking, maybe I do bring it on myself. I simply cannot wait for the holidays to be over, if only for this reason.

And let’s talk about the storm. We got a good 6-8 inches at our house. And do you think the snow plows have been anywhere near our street? It’s been almost 24 hours since the storm ended. And still no sign of them. Screw needing four wheel drive on the main roads, they are plowed. We need four wheel drive to get out of our driveway.

And with the storm brought another lovely surprise overnight. Friday we had our heater maintenanced. We had the heater turned down most of the rest of Friday simply because it was warm enough in the house. In the middle of the night, the heater wasn’t working. And when we woke up, the heater wasn’t working. And while we milled around the house, the heater wasn’t working. Now, we can expect our house to only hold so much heat with a storm outside. The maintenance company was called first thing Saturday morning. We were told a technician would call us soon with a time that he would be out. 3:30 rolled around, still no call. At this point, it’s a chilly 50-something degrees in the house. We call back.

“He never called??”

“Ummm…no and we have two little girls here.”

“Ok, we’ll get someone on it right away.”

Well, they ended up calling the tech that had come out on Friday. Because it was a huge coincidence that we have it serviced and that night it stops working. He shows up over an hour later. An hour later, we had heat! Apparently when he removed his jumper the day before, he had knocked a wire. At least he was able to admit his mistake and was very apologetic. Crisis solved.

Now, I could write about what happened while the girls were watching a slew of Christmas shows that I had DVR’ed during the week. But, I have a feeling, youwould begin to think ill of me or believe that I was a bad parent. But, let me just say, it was not my doing or my fault. I didn’t set that to record. I only set It’s A Wonderful Life to record. How was I suppose to know that someone else had set a different show to start recording during It’s A Wonderful Life and since the DVR has to be on one of the channels it’s recording, it switched off of the USA Network to the second show that started recording. And all I’m going to say is thank you for the fact that I told the girls to call me in to switch shows when one was over. So I was able to semi-avert a bad situation. Semi not completely. And that’s all I have to say about that.

And Christmas. It’s less than two weeks away. I have most shopping done. Just have to pick up a few little things for the girls, a few things for friends and Mom. I’ve got a few little things, but damn it…why is that woman so hard to shop for. Mom…if you’re reading this, any ideas would be helpful! Yes I know you have the hardest time trying to figure out why we feel that you are so hard to shop for. But you are. What do you get for a woman who has a lot? Who’s worked hard to get what she has. But nonetheless, has a lot. Ideas??? Anyone???

And a final note, just to show you how awesome of an ex-wife I am, I ordered my family something. I can’t say here, or they would find out. But I ordered something for members of my family and while I was at it, ordered said something for my ex-husband and his wife AND his mother. Why? Because I am that cool.