I have always said that I would soooooooooo take my two girls over two boys any day. That after helping with my two brothers, give me girls. They are so much easier. No arguing. No fist fights. No wrestling matches. But right now, in the throws of having a daughter on the verge of periods and boobs and hair and OMG… the EMOTIONS, I’m not so sure anymore. One minute she is happy, smiling and loving me and her sister. The next, it’s fire and brimstone blazing from her eyes. Almost what seems like pure hatred. And the next, it’s like the Hoover Dam sprang a major leak.
And I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to connect to her. I don’t know how to get her to open up. Unless it’s chasing her sister around the house with a baseball bat. Which, oddly, reminds me of my brothers when they were younger. But she won’t talk to me. She lies and tells me nothing is wrong. She’s an awful liar. Everything shows on her face. Kind of like her mom. I can’t hide my emotions. In fact, sometimes my facial expressions show more than even I know I am thinking. So then I think, does she not know what her face is showing? Is she happy and her face just doesn’t show it? No, honestly, her face shows everything.
I just wish she would talk to me. I told her that. Maybe not the best thing, but hey, if nothing, I’m going to be honest with my kids. I told her if she’s not talking to me, I hope she’s talking to someone. She said she was. I asked who. She said her friends. Typical preteen response. I want to be able to help her. To understand what she’s thinking. To help her deal with these swelling emotions. But I can’t until she’s willing to let me. Maybe one day.
I truly don’t remember being this emotional. I’m sure my mother is going to read this, laugh, shake her head and debate as to what kind of comment she can leave on here telling just how WRONG I am. How my memory has failed. Which is why I am documenting B’s time on this blog. So she doesn’t have to worry about remembering if she was this emotional. SHE WILL KNOW!!
