Single Mom’s Life

I’m one of those that when I’m listening to music, I’m listening to more than just the beat. I’m listening to the words. Some are just cool. Some you love the beat, but the words are silly. When I find a song that the words speak to me, I will listen to it over and over again. This is one of those songs. It completely describes how I’ve been feeling. Not sure why honestly. But it fits. It speaks to me.

Summer has come and passed

The innocent can never last

Wake me up when September ends

Enough said.

The house does not rest upon the ground

But upon the woman.

Yes, I do know how to write more than just Happy Birthday posts. I realize it hasn’t seemed like it lately. But life has been crazy and hasn’t left much time to blog. Or by time I do have time to blog, I’m so brain dead, the thought of sitting down and typing my thoughts is too much for me to think about. Or the thoughts I’m thinking, I don’t want to think about enough to write about them. They are jumbled, private, confusing, exhausting.

But they have led me to think about what I have to offer in a relationship, in life, in love, in family. Most people focus on what they can’t offer up. I’m guilty of this myself. But we are more than what we have to offer. But taking a look at what we can and cannot offer can be therapeutic and maybe show us where we excel and where we can maybe improve.

There are a lot of things I cannot bring to the table in a new relationship. I cannot bring more kids. For those who don’t know, I can no longer have kids. But I can bring two amazingly funny, challenging and loving girls.I can promise to love and treat your children (if you have them) equally.

I cannot bring a whole heart. I’ve had my heart broken over and over again. And each time a little piece breaks off. It happens with all of us. No one ever falls in love and stays with the first person to grab their heart. Therefore we must accept that we all will come to relationship with a tattered heart and baggage. I can bring every ounce of my heart, my being, my trust, my trustworthiness, my love, and my devotion.

I can’t bring the whole “stay-at-home-and-cook-and-clean” mentality. It’s just not me. I like being challenged with work. I like the interaction that work brings. But I can bring a self-sufficient, hard-working, not afraid to work and earn a living. I can financially help support our home and our dreams. I don’t expect or even want a man to take care of me. But I do want a man who is hard-working, self-sufficient, and can financially help support our home and dreams as well. I’ve had the ones who don’t. And I don’t want that and I don’t want a man who wants me to be that. That doesn’t mean that I will shirk my duties at home. Many times, I like to clean. In fact, I’m kinda anal in that I want a clean house. I don’t expect perfection. But I will keep it clean enough that if someone pops by, we’re not embarrassed. That’s my motto. But don’t expect me to pick up your dirty underwear. Put them in the basket! It’s as easy as throwing them on the floor. Really, I promise, it’s not that hard.

I can’t bring the perfect in-laws. No one’s family is perfect. And I will never claim they are. But I can bring one fiercely strong, devoted, caring, protective families around. We love each other and we will do anything for one another. And any man with me will undoubtably at some point get frustrated with them. As I will yours. It’s how the whole in-law thing works. But they will never doubt that my family will stand behind them if someone wrongs them. Now, that man wrongs me, WATCH OUT!!! You’ve been warned. I’ve had men who haven’t liked my family. And I haven’t liked theirs. And it caused heartache. My family is important to me and I will never let another man come between that. And I will never come between yours. I’ll bring that promise too.

I can’t bring a college degree. But I can bring a wealth of knowledge on Brangelina, the Gosslins and the Jonas Brothers. Ok, maybe not. I have that knowledge, every girl how her silly outlet. But I can bring stimulating conversations, I love a good, friendly debate and I know shit. Believe it or not, I have brains too. And that brain resides above my neck, not three inches below. Treat me like the intelligent woman I am and I’ll bring that knowledge.

I have so much more that I can’t bring to the table. We all do. But I’m more than what I can’t bring to the table. I am a woman that can bring so much more to the table what than I can’t. We all need to remember what we can. Not what we can’t.